My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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