I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
