i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
