Got a toothbrush?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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