I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
