I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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