dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
