I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
