Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
