my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I touched a dick in church today
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
