HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
