She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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