he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
