Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
