should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
