therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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