i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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