Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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