just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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