The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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