I feel great
I just peed on a car
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
