Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
