I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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