new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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