Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Never underestimate the power of titties
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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