his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
