I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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