Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
