Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
