I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
