what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
