Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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