So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
