I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My ATM looks so different sober.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
