Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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