Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
