Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
