can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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