I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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