BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
