It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
last night I used snow as a chaser
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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