A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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