is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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