Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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