she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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