i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
please come you make the beer taste better
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
