That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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