remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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