i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
