Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
