I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
