Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
