it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
