i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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