Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
